The goal of any legal wedding—and a decent number of other commitment ceremonies—is to seal the deal with “I do” or other language that clearly states, “Yes, I will marry you.” How we get to that point of the wedding, what comes before and after, and all the rest is, in New York at least, pretty much up to you. That’s why every ceremony offered through Weddings in the Gunks is created using a collaborative process that ensures that it is going to reflect your values.
One of the basic decisions in the classic American wedding format is whether this portion of the event is going to be phrased as a question, or a call-and-response process, or if the words will memorized ahead or time or read from the page entirely by the couple themselves.
Here’s the language that many will find familiar, if not from their own experience, from popular culture:
Do you take this person to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, for as long as you both shall live?
This is the declaration of intent, which is central to any wedding. In this format, each person would respond to the question with the classic “I do,” which is what everyone is there to witness.
When it’s done as a call and response, the officiant feeds the words to each participant:
Repeat after me: “I, Chrysanthemum,”
“I, Chrysanthemum,”
“take you, Pennyfarthing,”
“take you, Pennyfarthing,”
“to be my lawfully wedded spouse,”
“to be my lawfully wedded spouse,”
“to have and to hold,”
“to have and to hold,”
“from this day forward,”
“from this day forward,”
“in sickness and in health,”
“in sickness and in health,”
“for richer or for poorer,”
“for richer or for poorer,”
“for as long as we both shall live.”
“for as long as we both shall live.”
There is no explicit “I do,” but the declaration of intent remains.
In the third variant, you’ll either memorize the whole shebang, or have it printed in a handy format to read aloud. (Your Weddings in the Gunks officiant always has a copy of the entire script, which will come in handy just in case something goes awry with and there’s nothing to read from.)
How do you want to get to “I do?” The choice is up to you.